"With Malice Toward None"

Whatever the election result, how do we move forward?

Tomorrow, gulp, is election day in the U.S. Whatever the results of this contest, a big chunk of American citizens will be disappointed, angry, or worried. Perhaps all 3. U.S. voters are so divided, that most of us can’t comprehend how anyone can vote for the other side. And of course, it isn’t just in the US that such divides are prevailing - from Brexit to Brazil - divisions seem to be growing globally. This divisiveness isn’t just causing social angst, but it has hampered progress. We are not solving urgent social, environmental or fiscal problems. How can we stop that? How can we come together again and affect positive change?

Probably our first task is to try to reduce this divide, bringing to mind a placard I saw at a march recently: “Left? Right? What about forward?” While I blame much of the current divide on greedy politicians and media frothing up hatred to ringfence their supporters, that doesn’t get me any closer to reducing this divide. And even if these big actors do carry much of the blame, their divide-and-conquer efforts won’t be effective unless we gobble them up. They need us to listen to them, to vote for them, and to subscribe to their media streams. But even more poignantly, these big actors are not leaders in public opinion, but feeders. The phrase “bottom feeders” comes to mind. :^)

You can probably guess where I’m going with this line of reasoning. I believe that it is down to us: you, me, and every individual, to fight these efforts to divide us. In this instance, that means reaching across the divides in our society and connecting with others. Having compassion, perhaps even respect, for others. At least, respect for their human rights if not respect for their choices. But how do we manage even that?

I. Don’t spread negativity. When we are in a public sphere, we need to be careful that we don’t insult people of other viewpoints. Name-calling, generalizations, “How could anyone …” statements, none are helpful. While I know many of us feel these things, we need to exercise caution in espousing these sentiments in public. Don’t assume people share your viewpoints. When we hear that someone thinks we or our views are stupid, we tend to become defensive and dig into our opinions. Whatever the results of this election, true progress won’t happen without overwhelming support.

II. Listen. If we can stop the emotional outpourings of worry and fear, we can concentrate on listening to others. This is where the real magic starts happening. Not only have we stopped the circle of hatred by listening, but we’ve enabled our ‘opponent’ to be heard. Sharing our stories is a fundamental human need. Research has shown that positive attitude changes to ‘opposing’ groups’ opinions occurred when people had the opportunity to explain their stance. So talking, and especially listening, is really powerful and important. Intentional and respectful conversations, of course. I suspect personal/in-person connections and discussions are far more effective at changing one person’s attitudes than broadscale sermonizing like I’m doing here. On the other hand, interactions like this newsletter reach more people. Perhaps the strength of the impact follows the r-squared laws in physics? Across many physical systems, we find that impacts decrease with the square of the distance from the source, like a light getting dimmer the further we are from it.

III. Recognize our common goals. When we listen deeply to someone, we can usually identify common values. Then we can figure out how to get there. So when we face a problem that needs fixing in our family / community / country, all the stakeholders need to be part of the conversation, as early as possible. You may be surprised by the wisdom and solutions your ‘opponents’ have to offer. If everyone has had a chance to be heard, to contribute to a solution, then lasting change can occur. It is helpful to remember that we have more in common than that which divides us. We all want good health, happiness for our families and friends, green spaces, peace, security, and love.

IV. Keep the goal in mind. This one goes back to the first step about not spreading negativity, but now with a common goal in mind, it transforms. Whether we are aiming to feed hungry kids, provide health care for all, or have clean air and water, we can work together to achieve that. We need to keep our common goal at the front of our thinking. Our conversations should not be about winning an argument or insulting those who hold opinions different from our own. My experience is that by the time you’ve identified a common goal with someone, they’ve become your friend, and compassion flows freely.

So, get out there, be considerate, and listen. Recognize that we can only reach our goals if we work together. And keep your eye on the prize. I’ve borrowed some of this list from an article by Adam Hind’s “A Way to Get Beyond the Politics of Division” in which he also argues that it is down to us as individuals to enact these ideals and heal this divide. If we practice these conventions and demand that our leaders do as well, we can heal our social wounds. I feel so strongly about this process it informs the title of my book about solving environmental problems: A Drop of Grace: Finding and Protecting Our Common Ground. With grace, kindness, and compassion we can reach out to one another. We can listen. We can connect. And ultimately, we can progress.

As a final point, history can offer us some solace. The U.S. has healed from previous, seemingly insurmountable, divides, such as the Civil War. At the time of President Lincoln’s second inaugural speech in 1865, the U.S. was deeply divided and over 750,000 people had died in the war. Although the war was not yet over, Lincoln did not use the speaker’s platform to seek political gain but rather to initiate the healing of a battered and fragile nation. As Lincoln summed up in his inaugural speech "With malice toward none, with charity for all …”